On a cold December day, just like those we’ve been having of late, my sister phoned to say our mother had died. The call didn’t come as a shock: I had been with mum two days before and, from her catatonic state, I knew the end was near. But my regret at not being by her side when she passed away was deep and profound. A silent grief burrowed deep. I was unable to cry or express my sadness, and the guilt that came with this apparent lack of outward emotion weighed heavily on me and threw up irrational doubts: had I not loved her? Was she a bad mother? Was I relieved she had died? Susannah Constantine (pictured) reflected on the power of nature, as she revealed that she was unable to cry after her mother’s death until she took a walk in the woods Relief? Well, yes, there was an element of relief. When my mother died in 2007, she’d been ill for many years, battling bipolar disorder all her life and then early-onset dementia. At the end, she’d had no quality of life, and it had broken my heart to witness this beautiful, gentle soul reduced to… Read full this story
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Her mother's mental illness shaped their complex relationship. And in this deeply emotional epitaph SUSANNAH CONSTANTINE reveals: I couldn’t cry after mum died...until a walk in the woods made the tears fall have 251 words, post on www.dailymail.co.uk at December 11, 2019. This is cached page on CuBird. If you want remove this page, please contact us.